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Jordan Clemens

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"Interrrogation: Here Comes Closure" [30 May 2005|06:51pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I was once asked, "Would you wish me happiness?" My response at that exact moment was one of complete selfishness. I based my response mostly on my own personal glee and thought less about the other person, however; after having time to ponder the question, I will now provide a response.

Ah, and when everything in a perfect society goes so functional. I have been made out to be a "bad" guy for the last time. The words I speak remain the most honest confessions of a man that you will find. I find no reason in upholding falsehoods or skewing personal events. Let it be said that the wrongs I committed in my previous relationship should not be forgotten; but they alone cannot hold to be the demise of that relationship. My infidelities were not met alone. That other person [Nick Bledsoe] was just as misleading in our failed attempt at love. His wrongs were brought to light at first sign of complication, before learning of my own deceit. As he continued through this path of distrust, he tarnished our relationship. Soiling all that was worked for simply out of his own greed: cheaters are foretold to spend an eternity in the worst ring of hell, we can only hope the path to redemption is as "straight and narrow" as the Almighty expressed.

A former friend, a former enemy, and a "talentless charlatan;" all titles of which one Korey Keller held. He has been brought to my intention yet again, not because of his swagger or intellect, as he would like to believe he has but his pure ignorance. To make ridiculous threats as the one he challenged me to is utterly stupid. Attempting to hold strings with my niece will not release sympathy from me. It has come to the time where Mr. Korey Patrick Keller should crawl into his small, dark whole and allow the rest of the world to function without its idiot. While I could enumerate any amount of insults in correspondence to my former friend, I have a question to answer.

Nick asked me "...would I wish him happiness," well my answer is blunt; no one is every guaranteed happiness and certain people are only deserve to strive and fail. So to my former love: not even I can grant you the enjoyment of happiness, your actions show you on a path with no reward. Have fun. be safe, oh an Nick - kiss.

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"My Sincerest Apologies" [29 Apr 2005|03:28am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

Throughout my frivolous follies as a freshman in college, I have discovered that nothing is as permeable as foreseen. What is expected, is hardly achieved; what seems opportune, is often unfortunate; and most that seems needed, is irrelevant. Where do we place our most precious attention?

After the numerous encounters I have made, all have proved to been one of three classes of people: hypocrites, swindlers, and Christians. None more just than the other. All are sects which follow stringent procedures. Let their be one martyr of justice or righteous crusader and the entire creed would be askew.
[Talking in circles again. As if anyone understands the words I say. Every word I have spoken is construed defamatory gibberish aimed at a particular person or event. My capabilities are dwarfed due to others lack of understanding. Not to infer the rite from the rightful, lacking fantasy. When did one lose concentration only to fall into an abyss of emptiness? Naive mentality spares none, yet rescues the deserving.]
Force feeding young America to adjust to conformity or abandonment. Only time will tell if liberal minds will follow liberal government.

A morally corrupt society has erected as the normalcy of the planet. Dishonesty and selfishness have run rampant without notice since the sprawl of "popular culture." However television and new age technology does not ruin our society, it simply delivers the final blow.

Tammy Faye, O.J. Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, Lacy Peterson, Paris Hilton: from pampered princesses, religious faithfuls, sociopaths, swindlers, or helpless victims; they all fall prey to something more majestic than explainable - our thoughts. They breathe through our actions. Feed through our strives. Gain on our ignorance. We are tools of culture's game, checkmate!

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"Attention: Whores of America" [21 Apr 2005|01:25am]
[ mood | Not very me today ]

Most popular theories would have one believe that I in fact indulge in countless promiscuous acts while attending my university. Not only is this far from fact, but it is also hurtful to believe that these words came from friends. Yet, I do not believe that I have defined the term friend well enough. My friends seem to form habit of incessantly allowing me to see their less-loving sides.

My friends apparently strive to prove superiority over my life. Everything I do, say, or see should be regulated through their wishes. No longer will I be allowed to form my own opinion; unless it be the opinion of my friend. What a conundrum! How do I attempt to continue a liberal lifestyle with stringent guidelines?

No more will my torment be a public affair. If any one person has anything vicious to say then he/she should say it, while being weary that it will be the last time they have civil conversation with me. I have explored every venue of pleasuring those friends around me, however; it has never been suffice. Be that as it may, no more. Allison means the life to me on part of friendships, yet if she is unwilling to portray the respect for me that I give to her, then she will no longer be a staple in my social circle. Adam and I have had rough times, and I have made attempts to better that relationship, however; in the time that I felt our relationship had blossomed a curve ball occurred. My life has never led a straight and narrow path, it has been full of jagged paths that I could never better, however; living in those previous parts of my life would be regression. I am in no way a whore. I will never be labeled such a slanderous title. There is nothing that has happened at this university that I will not be willing to discuss, because there is no such happening that was deceitful to any affiliation that I have.

Last cry is that from this moment on anything that needs to be said about me, needs to be said to me. I will, with the most straight-forward and honest way answer any inquiry that one can think of, but talking behind my back is unacceptable and disrespectful. The only true way to be a friend is to start acting like one.

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"Big Wave of 2008" [23 Feb 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

"I am a double major with my majors in Law & Society and Political Science. I am an aspiring politician and hope to make an impact on the world one day."

Not only is that passage from Korey Keller laughable for the fact that he completely refuses the rules of grammar, but it also has a distinct stench of fantasy. Apparently you can strive to become a politician directly after college! Forget all of the usual ways of going about becoming a political leader (i.e. practicing law, teaching, or being an entrepeunuer). No, Korey Keller has the master plan to grasp America's government by the hand and run with it. Not only is he financially incapable of even pondering running for a single election, but he expects the world to look past his obvious homosexuality. However, I do believe he has the qualifications down. Lying, Backstabbing, Influencing, Swindling, he has mastered the art of them all. Not to mention that he was born with arrogance, bullsh*t, and pretension. It would seem that Mr. Keller has everything he would need to start an illustrious career as on of Washington's finest, except the key ingredient, talent. Unfeasible beliefs that one day you will emerge as some glorified individual that would maintain the ability to make decisions for others when one is incapable of making the right decisions for oneself. A "talentless charlatan" as I called him in a previous encounter and that is all he will ever amount to in his life. I would be open to being proven wrong, yet we don't live in fantasy. Go ahead Korey, make me eat my words. Unfortunately, I am sure that my words will remain adamant and honorable clear through our adulthood lives. The only thing you will have to remember throughout your career is how I like my coffee because that is the only task you are honorable enough to hold.

He is coming to your town, ready or not! The lemon takes no prisoners.

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"Pouncing Llama, Unspoken Dragon" [23 Feb 2005|12:12am]
[ mood | Dirty Little Dwarves ]

Because I am that sexy! Oh no, it's okay. I was just relaxing in my perfection.

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[22 Feb 2005|08:43pm]
I'm a Fabulous Faggot!

I'm a Fabulous Faggot! I’m the epitome of over the top breathtakingly extravagant faggot chic. I dance like a big queer demon, although I am more concerned about being seen than actually enjoying myself. I probably wear feathers. Jesus Christ.

What kind of Faggot are you?
Brought to you by Pushing Through</a>
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"Beast of Chiron" [22 Feb 2005|07:34pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Don't be overwhelmed by my aura, I am as kind as a butterfly yet softer than a flower. I return to you and my solemn life in the most appeased of moods. Not that my appeasement is splendor but complacency. By any means, I would always rather be complacent than jolly. Jolly is always so predictable! At least my life is spontaneous.

I am on the edge of insanity as I balance schoolwork, personal liaisons, financial obligations, and selfish desires; all of which have outweighed my basic need for logic. I am caught in a storm of distress with an insatiable thirst for more. What do I make of my problems? That question would be best answered if, by some means, I discovered what exactly my problems entail.

To be continued...

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"Instant Messaging: The Good, the Bad, and the Korey" [15 Feb 2005|03:21pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

As I touched on the other day, I was recently upset by the fact that a former friend attempted an attitude with my current boyfriend. Korey (the former friend) had no reason to take his frustration out on Carston (the boyfriend).

The premise of the argument was the fact that Korey's ex-boyfriend Adam devised a plan to win Korey's heart back. His plan was to have numerous and even estranged people instant message Korey and tell him to give Adam a second chance. In the course of this strategy, he enlisted the services of my boyfriend and Carston agreed only out of friendship; simply enough Carston only messaged him a short two-line message and left it alone. Korey, accompanied by his ego then wrote back to him and this is how it went:

kpkeller18: ??
briteheartedson: yea about that whole thing
briteheartedson: i apologize if it bothered you i'm sure you are happy with Nick
briteheartedson: Adam just asked me to do him a favor so i did
kpkeller18: well do me a favor and fuck off ok?
kpkeller18: i dont want adam
kpkeller18: never will
kpkeller18: Nick and I are VERY happy
briteheartedson: well that's awesome i am happy for the both of you but i did it because i'm not good at saying no to people
briteheartedson: i'll do pretty much anything for my friends and if they ask me to do them a favor it's hard for me to say no
kpkeller18: well, how bout you learn to ignore me
kpkeller18: i pretend like you dont exist and that workd wonders for me
briteheartedson: alright then you continue to do that and i'll do the same about you
kpkeller18: good

Then, if his obvious bitterness was not already bad enough, he decided to throw "wrenches" in my relationship:

kpkeller18: and maybe one day youll realize that jordan wants nothing to do with you
briteheartedson: there is where you're wrong
kpkeller18: lol, dude, given the chance between you and nick.... he would chose nick EVERY time
briteheartedson: i seriously doubt that
kpkeller18: jordan just doesnt want you and adam together
kpkeller18: dude, wake the fuck up
kpkeller18: lol
kpkeller18: your totally clueless
briteheartedson: if there is one thing i know, it's that Jordan loves me
briteheartedson: because if he didn't he wouldn't be with me
kpkeller18: lol, ok :)
briteheartedson: Jordan and I are happy together and nothing you or anyone else says is going to mess that up
briteheartedson: i don't even know why i'm even talking to you about this
kpkeller18: im not trying to mess anything up
kpkeller18: i just dont understand how you can be totally blind
briteheartedson: i'm not blinded by anything
kpkeller18: lol, ok

After spreading his filth, he finally started back to his vintage Korey persona, lying. He conjured up and doctored events so that he could attempt to use them as fuel against me:

kpkeller18: just a fyi---- jordan still calls nick constantly
kpkeller18: jordan is not over nick
kpkeller18: jordan emails nick
kpkeller18: telling him how i am soo wrong for nick
kpkeller18: now tell me where his heart is
kpkeller18: lol
briteheartedson: i believe that you and Nick are very happy together
briteheartedson: why can't you believe that Jordan actually loves me and that me and him are happy together
kpkeller18: cuz its false
kpkeller18: lol
briteheartedson: well you believe what you want to believe
briteheartedson: and i'll believe what i want to believe
kpkeller18: later dude
kpkeller18: ive got h/w
briteheartedson: k
kpkeller18: and you arent that important
kpkeller18: later

Throughout reading this entire conversation I became extremely infuriated, and decided to contact Korey, but in a civil way. Needless to say he is not a civil person. Even through my constant attempts to make him see that he was obviously wrong, he just continued with snide remarks and a pompous attitude. I am over Korey Keller. His lifelong goal better to be to avoid me for the rest of his because I am no longer amiable.

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"Especially Fragile" [15 Feb 2005|03:03pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Stress is keen to make your perception of life seem almost like being stuck in an iron maiden. Everything is seemingly closing in around you in the most uncomfortable of ways. My life is currently turning into some awkward type of British torture device; everything is overwhelming at the moment, whether it be school or domestic issues. I have been waylaid with problem after problem and I do not know what to do to escape from my misery.

Financial obligations seem to be cramping both my mother and I. After the disappointing news that she would not be receiving the "juicy" tax check that we had expected, I am left disenchanted that I will be unable to get many of the things I was promised. That's life! Always unexpected, but never shocking. I should have seen it coming. Nothing has seemed to go as smoothly as I have originally planned.

A friend of mine [Scott] has been extremely depressed at the prospect that he is doomed to spend his entire youthful life without the accompaniment of that special individual. Though I understand how he must feel, I can only feel that he is overly pessimistic about the situation. Love was never guaranteed to anyone! There are plenty of things in life that are more precious than lust. Of course there are the more fortunate of people that have everything essentially handed to them; however, almost all things in life are fortuitous experiences. Yet, I am done attempting to portray that message to Scott. He seems fixed in his mentality and I will allow him to dwell there until he finds the error in his own logic.

I have an eventful day planned for the remainder of this Tuesday. I will inform everyone on how it turns out later in the day.

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"Hot or Hott!" [15 Feb 2005|04:41am]
[ mood | horny ]


24 votes
Rate me!

A new little thing I seemed to have picked up. I find this not for those of low self-esteem. I predict that my long time score will be a 4.5-5.0! I hold to such a modest score only because I am practical. It is hard to see past my rough exterior, however; rate me by all means. I love other people's feedback.
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"Bitter Aftermath" [14 Feb 2005|02:07am]
[ mood | Don't Ask! ]

I am left to wonder, which came first the idiot or Korey Keller? Both seem alike in nature, however; there is one dominant trait that differs the pair. An idiot is not foolish enough to cross paths with me.

Gone from my journal for well over six months and it feels good to be able to relieve myself of all of my backed up thoughts. My most recent fixation is on one of my former friends, Korey. He is now dating my ex-boyfriend, and while I am completely accepting of this relationship, I am less than inviting for the attitude he took on toward my current love. I will not be had by a man who has more hair on his ass than his own head. Korey Keller is not infallible, yet he has refused to take off his rose-colored "glasses" to see the softer side of things. Now, I must be willing to aid him in his redemption to sanity, and if he refuses then he will be doomed to live in a lackluster existence where he will have only those who refuse to see past fabrications. My task is obvious, I will help a socially-deprived individual learn hospitality; and I will teach him in the most inhospitable way.

In other news, I am currently in my second semester at Purdue University of West Lafayette. I am having an abundance of fun. I have made plenty of new friends (Andrew, Ashley, Denise, Georgia, Jimmy, John, Larry, and Leslie just to name a few). College life has amounted to everything I always wanted it to be and more. I am eager to discover what the working world will be like following my countless years of college classes.

As mentioned before, I am currently dating. I am dating my ex-boyfriend Carston who I have found even more appealing to me the second time around. It is amazing when you can manage to be so blind to the wonderful things in life. I incessantly searched for fallacies in hopes that I would be better satisfied with my life; but I never found them. Little did I know that I had the world and threw it away at a year of agony. Through all of my searching it was best discovered that I threw away what I wanted, but that is no longer a problem. I am now committed and happy.

Yet there must be an end to this entry and here lies the end. I will finish my synopsis of my last couple of months in the next entry, as I am sure there will be plenty this time around! Fin

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"Alterated Indifference" [06 Jul 2004|11:10pm]
[ mood | cold ]

When it comes to love many of us are left to speculate the abnormality of its splendor; does it rely on the individual to dwell happily or is it by nature self-sufficient? With looming questions only one thing can be for certain, it will only come through the tedious process of trial & error. My perception of love has been fulfilled in the theoretical aspect only! My future sense of companionship is vague, I'm left to wonder if I can talk in circles because I am to deep in thought or because I am destined to have these same problems resurface until I find the most apt answer in which I seek. By what high power have I been derived from? Foolishness is left to rest in my psyché, until I find my answers goodbye!

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"Class of 2004: Removing the Defects" [05 Jul 2004|12:39am]
[ mood | pensive ]

An atrocity has occurred and no one will make an attempt to rectify it! While many are enjoying their varied remaining days until the ultimate doom of committing themselves to a number of years at the university of their choice, I lay in waiting for relief to be brushed from my shoulders. I graduate from high school with a less than qualified diploma, and no true friends to show for it! Yes, I have friends whether they be distant or readily available; however, how many of them will I be able to count on in case of an emergency?

I have realized today that people will only walk so far with you and then they leave you. Dumbfounded and lonely you must walk to your destination only using your individual skills to climb the mountain of success that you have sculpted, but does that seem fair? Should we be left so defenseless, not that we can't make it on our own, but to have to face knowing that your friends were only a quick fix to a more permeable type problem. I'm left dormant on my own thoughts because I find it unbearable to know that I exhibited so much of my life to these "strangers" for them to stare back at me and spit in my eye! I did nothing! Was it expected? I'm left to ponder who was the one more responsible for my newly branded title of idiot, was it them for making such an experiment to be tormented by this pain or am I to blame, knowing that the inevitable would indeed come, and I would find myself walking lonely. Yet, what does it matter, life goes on.

The truly astonishing thing is that the one person I knew or believed to stand next to me even when no when else would; I then go and spit at him, but I spit a far more acidic and hurtful venom that cannot be repented no matter how many apologies I offer. Dumb, no. Deserving! Deserving of this obliviousness that I call life. I make suit in a dream world and for the first time the caramel-cream coating melted and forced me to face the truth.

And what is worst is that I have not yet truly found my regret. It hangs in the balance for me to grasp but I act as though it is nonexistent, what do I do? I lived life to the fullest for everyone else and never stepped aside to take a breath of air for myself, now I have eighteen years of back time that I can never return to my former self! I have three experiences that I can never give back to my other half. I have much credit I can never condone to acknowledge, am I stubborn? Overly pensive? Or realizing my mistakes? With that said, I leave you all and hope that you do not follow in similar footsteps...

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"Graduating Bum" [25 May 2004|11:09pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I do not understand what I have accomplished! Everything in my life has led to this moment, and what do I have to show for it? Where is my reward for all of these years of being me? I want so bad to burst into tears just because I have no idea what I am suppose to do or how I am to go about it.

Today remained as my last standing day in high school. Should I be happy, or was that not guaranteed to me? Lost does not cover it. My life is totally mixed up. I am now thinking to focus my life over this summer break so that I may re-invent myself and enhance features about me. Everything! So that I may become a more perfect being than I am now. I can not keep going through these emotional roller-coasters. I have to find me and be happy with myself before I can expect others to see that in me...

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"Revolution is Upcomming" [12 May 2004|09:31am]
[ mood | chipper ]

I will over the duration of the next month be completely changing the layout/style of my journal. I will start completely over for a more mature attitude, I hope all will be willing to embrace this change as I do. Until then I bid you all "Adieu"

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"Crazy ‘till Salvaged" [12 Apr 2004|07:48am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

and as if Sigfred & Roy themselves had spawned me from one of their ever clever illusions, i have returned; and although i was adamant n my fixation of no longer portraying my life through a computer screen, i now find myself rejoicing that i can share my life experiences w/~others…not only as an inspiration but also has a lesson to b learned, one that everyone could possibly go through and c the softer side of the world through my eyes and prevent themselves from following similar follies~! well anywayz my life was stagnant and now has revived n2 an exuberant force 2 b reckoned w/~! Everything is as perfect as before if not better…no longer am i torn on whether i am just sufficient or rather sad, but i know my current position; i am the happiest person on earth. i would prefer to tell u what makes me this excited; however, i will unveil my newly blessed life n another entry to this journal, ‘till then farewell

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"Celebrity Status" [02 Apr 2004|05:40pm]
[ mood | rushed ]

Who is in your celebrity family? by cerulean_dreams
User Name
MomCeline Dion
DadJim Carrey
BrotherJason Biggs
SisterCameron Diaz
BoyfriendJustin Timberlake
Best friendOwen Wilson
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!
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"...Oh That's Just My Heart!" [30 Mar 2004|10:43pm]
wow turn of events folks can u believe it? it's my life remember nothin' is 2 great 4 2 long and thus goes my relationship...oh u know the one i was soooo happy about and made me the "luckiest" person in the world, well my luck ran out and who could care? i mean i don't, of course not...look @ me happy that my life is a living hell~! what could make it worst? maybe someone i really care about can die or get seriously injured...oh boy that would b fun. well folks i have decided this journal is pointless, love is pointless, my life n its patheticness is pointless, and i, as an existing person am pointless all 2gether so...this will b my last entry...i feel no need 3 further my torment by re-living the unimpeded path depression through my timeless words...good bye, have fun, and live life...
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"If The Shoe Fits...Throw It!" [30 Mar 2004|08:09am]
[ mood | busy ]

when push comes to shove, i'll be the latter; however, while that has no depth or sentiment regarding upcoming events, i subside into thinking that it should be stricken from the record...[hehe] anywayz folks i am the most happy man in this putrid world...imean really i have everything i could dream for and more and if that wasn't enough my connections w/~people r getting a lot more deep and although it comes as a disappointment c-ing how i will graduate n less than 2 months and have 2 say farewell 2 all of these wonderful people...oh well there is a party this friday @ my best friend's house, cory despain and i am goin' 2 try 2 attend while reserving a spot 4 nick. oh wel i am @ school so i will update later if things arise of importance...

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Triumph to Fail [28 Mar 2004|10:20pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

I allowed myself to succumb victim to a most horrifying gremlin, and although most might be think that it would b spawned from lucifer it is actually a gift brought by the roman entity of cupid~! my love for a particular person is plagued in more ways than i could adjust myself too and i want nothing else in this world but to be with this man, not only be with him but be allowed to spend my life in unison with his for as long as we might stride through the wavy waters of romance~! i of course fall hard while his emotions r less acknowledgeable; i would like to assume that he feels the same way as i do for him but then i remind myself we live in reality and though saturday was an escape from this so proclaimed reality i was doomed to repeat n the path i had previously followed. Whoa is me yet i feel this as just following my actions with others. why should i deserve to be as fortunate to have something that perfect when there r others more deserving? he is not a deity but he is my life...and i dread that if an abrupt decision is to be made, my life will b taken from me~!

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